Sunday, March 22, 2009

Mean Girls

Feeling a little bit robbed of my scrapbooking confidence right now. You know when you're hanging out with a group of girls, laughing, talking and then you leave a little while later feeling a little icky as if something's wrong? And then you realize that one of the girls was being rude to you, but it was so subtle that it only poked at you and bothered you in such small increments that you didn't even realize it at the time. But you totally realize it now, and you feel foolish for not realizing it in the moment and excusing yourself earlier. And you wonder if everyone else in the group realized it but you. And then you wonder what's wrong with you and you start to question everything you've said or done in that group.

I've seen it happen at the Elementary school with my daughter. I remember it happening in Junior High and High School. Thankfully not so much in college. But I am surprised that grown up women still treat each other like that. And I am disappointed in myself for allowing someone else to help dictate how I feel. It happened in a scrapbooking arena a while ago and when I sat down yesterday to create something for one of my deadlines all those uncomfortable feelings just oozed out and stole my confidence.

I can only be a victim if I allow myself to be, but I think it takes a bit to shake off that ickiness and move foward and accept that someone you like and you admire doesn't care for you. And even if you have to at least on some level bump into each other (whether online or in person), it's kind of out of your control how much someone else likes you or not. I'm just a people pleaser and I'm feel sad when people don't like me. And I feel especially sad when women are mean to each other. I just don't understand why that's necessary. :(

On another note, the above layout and card below are for the current CK KOTM. I was asked to complete these some time ago but the kit was just recently posted for purchase on their website so I can share them now.



Thanks for letting me spill a bit. I am sure we've all been in that uncomfortable spot before.

14 comments:

  1. Holly9:30 AM

    Jen, I agree with you. I don't know why some women feel the need to be mean. While they try to make themself look big, they only succeed in making themself look small. You can come scrap with me anytime! I promise I won't be mean. :) There are a ton of people who love you and think you're awesome and that's way better than one meanie who needs to get a life.

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  2. Oh, how I hate that icky feeling...just in case we, as women, don't beat ourselves up enough, there's a sister to send the "you don't measure up for me" message. Ouch. I'm so glad you are grounded in truth and protective of yourself. You rock and shouldn't feel otherwise. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  3. What a great perspective you have; it's not about what she said but about how you feel about what she said. Have faith in yourself, believe you're better than to be pulled down to someone elses level. You never know what's going through her mind because she might be jealous or insecure herself and that's exactly what she's trying to do.

    I'm sending you a big hug, and thanks for yet another fabolous layout. My albums are better for the great inspiration you give.

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  4. Oh Jen, Jen, Jen. How I wish I was there when they were like that, they would only do it ONCE. I do not appreciate people who make others feel uncomfortable. It's not funny and it's not cute. It's playground stuff and they should be ashamed of their behaviour.

    When I was in Utah last year, you were one of the girls who were so sweet to me. Fact is - no matter what 'THAT' person says, YOU are in incredibly nice person. You are STACKED with a talent that some of us only dream about. You are an inspiration to me in how you carry yourself and how you live your daily life (which I read through your blog).

    I was bullied on the way home from school nearly everyday. I do not and will not accept it - PERIOD!

    You, my dear, just showed class by ignoring this obviously RUDE and badly brought up person.

    Don't let those type of people beat you or bring you down and make you sad. Women are all too eager to pick other women's confidence apart. They watch for the quiet ones and pick, pick, pick not realising that they shatter confidence and make people genuinely sad.

    I suppose what I am trying to say is YOU ROCK JEN!!!

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  5. Sherri P eh5:59 PM

    Jen, I am so sorry this has happened, and like you, I'm always surprised when it happens within a circle of grown women. I believe that those who do it as women probably were the same ones doing it as children and teens. And I also believe its a symptom of insecurity and likely jealously. Here's what I know: I am a fan and regular visitor of your blog because I admire both your work, and your character. As inspired as I am by what I see in your art, I find myself more inspired by what you write, in your posts and your journalling.
    I agree with others here. You can scrap with me anytime too - I would be honoured! (I live in PA though, so it might not happen too easily!)
    What you wrote here makes me admire you even more. Keep on being true to yourself! You rock Jen!

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  6. What the heck?
    I need to hear about this, and just so "they" know...I am pretty stinking good at the kick-boxing thing now...and I HAVE YOUR BACK!
    ;)
    I am sorry you feel less than the exceptional person you are.

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  7. I hear ya Jen, it has happened to me many times. But as for your scrappy confidence...don't let anyone shake it, you rock! (seriously, I LOVE your style!)

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  8. Well, you don't know me but I love your layouts. In fact I stalk your seeds LOL.

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  9. Wow, I've never been friends with someone who has a real life 'seed stalker' (check the pp above me.) Yep, I guess that means you're a rockstar. Love ya!
    PS>
    Mean people suck... they made it a bumper sticker for a reason.

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  10. Jen, I hope you get rid of the "icky" feeling soon! Just try and focus on all the positive comments you receive, and ignore the mean-spirited ones. You can't control what someone else choses to say or do, and not everyone will be your friend. That's a good thing - it makes the people who are your friends all that more important to you! It's difficult when you're a people pleaser, but it's an important thing to keep reminding yourself!

    Take care, and let me add my voice to the chorus of fellow scrappers saying "I like you and I like your 'stuff'!"

    Lizzy

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  11. Mean People will all have their day at feeling the ickies:)I love your scrapbooking style and I also check your blog out regulary for inspiration and I always find plenty!!Keep your head because you are an awesome person::))God Bless You!!

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  12. i'm so sorry you had this happen to you ... and that it made you question anything about yourself.

    i do know exactly what you're saying. this happened to me last year with my daycare business. a former parent started bad-mouthing me and after 3 years, pulled her children out of my daycare without any explanation or reason. it devasated me. it has changed my confidence level a lot ... and i always question what i'm doing or how parents are seeing me with their kids. and i hate that ... because i know i'm good. other parents have seen it in me too ... my lack of confidence and always worrying that i'll say something that might be misinterpreted. i hate that this one person did this to me ... and had no remorse about it, even to this day. she probably has no idea how much it affected me ... and i think that's unfair.

    just know that i think you're wildly talented ... and super sweet! don't let anyone make you feel like you're anything less that wonderful!

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  13. Jen, I am so very sorry this has happened to you. I am have had this happen to me too and only later did I realize it and then for what ever reason that seem to hurt more because I felt like a fool for not realizing it early. Hugs to you and know that there are a lot of us who know you are amazing and very talented!

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  14. I always wonder what causes people to be mean, I mean what good comes out of it? I try to teach my girls that you always look out for other girls, girls stick together. Sorry you had an unpleasant experience.

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