Friday, September 07, 2007

Do I Still Believe in Miracles?

Absolutely!!!

When we first learned that Joey was sick and took him to the Children's hospital for his emergency surgery, we were praying fervently and we were had a great deal of hope and faith that all would be well. When we learned that it was cancer, we were devastated; but we still believed that the Lord could make our boy whole again. When we learned that it had spread to his liver, we cried; but we prayed that we would be able to catch the cancer before it moved elsewhere. Then it moved and moved again and then moved again. It was a very difficult trial of our faith. It was difficult to understand why the Lord in his power would not make our son better. I often wondered what I was supposed to have faith in.

I learned that I needed to have faith in the Lord's power. That He could heal Joey if that was the right thing for Joey.

I learned that I needed to have faith that Joey's cancer and his passing were part of the Lord's plan. That what happened to Joey was in the Lord's hands, and that we were not forgotten and still very much loved.

I learned that the Lord's plan and his timing in that plan is much bigger than we will ever understand in our mortal state. What seems so unreasonable or so "unfair" is a mortal perspective and not the Lord's perspective.

And as for miracles, we saw hundreds of them while Joey was ill and after:

* Joey never lost his hair during all of his cancer treatments, and he wanted so desperately to keep it.
* Joey got to come home for his Birthday a few weeks before he passed, which we all wanted for him.
* Joey was relatively well during all those radiation and chemo treatments and was sick to his stomach only sometimes.
* Joey pulled together an entire community of scrapbookers who came to our rescue both financially and emotionally.
* My entire family got the opportunity to say good-bye to Joey a few days before he passed, and I know there are parents that don't get that opportunity.
* Joey was taken before the cancer fully overtook his body and was spared even more pain from the cancer itself.

I believe in miracles. I see them every day, and although I wish that we could have had the miracle of Joey's recovery, I am at peace with the tender mercies the Lord extended to us during this time. He knows us, and He loves us! Of that I am sure.

Yes, I believe in miracles!

16 comments:

  1. Yes, I believe in miracles too Jen!
    What a beautiful post.

    Congrats too on CX!!

    Hugs,

    Stacy

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  2. I believe too, your strength is a miracle. Your ablitly to be strong for the rest of your family is a miracle.

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  3. Love your entry and I do believe in miracles and I am happy you saw them in your greatest trial. I beleive thatis what the lord wants you too see as well,that it is not all about the pain and sadness, even then he is there.

    corinnexxx

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  4. So beautiful that you are able to find the strength and see the miracles in this..this is a huge part of the grieving process and recovering as well.
    beautiful reminder to always find some positive as well as to put our trust in him through this all.
    god bless you..
    and so happy for you on CX team... you were one of my favorite message board buddies there way back when... they couldn't have picked a better team!

    Kim

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  5. Amen sister! Have I mentioned lately that your writing is beautiful? Such a communicator...the English teacher in me LOVES it! :) ~~J

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  6. *hugs* jen... thanks for reminding me.

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  7. Jen,
    What a strong message given in such a meaningful way. I struggle with understanding the lack of miracles. Your post has given me some faith.

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  8. Hi Jen,
    I have read a few of your posts and this has become one of my favorite blogs. I have needed many of your reassuring messages--God is so perfect as the messages come at just the right times. I lost my mom and have had a hard time with faith, miracles and prayer. Thank you. may the Lord continue to help you restore my faith in Him. :)

    http://avocadoishyummythings.typepad.com

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  9. Thank for you sharing this Jen. I don't know you very well, but I feel a huge connection to you with all that you've been through and are going through now still.. Healing is beautiful!

    I know that you commented on my mom's layout on CX about her caner.. We just recently found out that she now has brain cancer {3 tumors}..

    So thank you so much for this post and helping me to see the miracle of life and living.

    It's good to be working with you on the new CX team too Jen!

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  10. God bless you and your family in this most difficult time! I thank God for your ability to shine His Light in the hideously dark world- even in the midst of what must be a dark and bleak personal time. Thank you for being a true witness, and for testifying to the Light!

    Till that Day-
    Anne

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  11. I needed to read this today.

    Thank you. :)

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  12. Amen!!! You are an amazing and beautiful person!

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  13. You have an amazing way with words!! I'm so sorry to hear about your son. My 3yr old son just finished 12 months of chemo and I understand your pain. You are a very strong woman and have a great family. Just remember your beliefs. YOU WILL see him again and you WILL be an eternal family!! I think I have seen your blog before, but I found you tonight because I'm needing to get ahold of someone who knows SOMETHING about Lil Davis. We cannot get ahold of anyone in their Mesa, AZ location. I am a monthly kit club owner and we are showcasing their product this next month and not sure where we stand with it. So I came looking for help to get a hold of them, but found tears dropping for you! :) :) Anyhow, if you know how we can get ahold of them, please let me know. My blog is adayinthesticks.blogspot.com and my email is simplyobsessed@yahoo.com

    ((HUGS))

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  14. Something that helps me in loss...I read this once somewhere...if we can just let go of the edges of our pain... I have never lost a child so I can't begin to understand but have had much other loss in my life. When I began to let go of the edges of my pain, I felt much better. ~best

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  15. Hi there,
    Yes, I absolutely believe in miracles. Thank you for reminding us of all the miracles we tend to miss when caught up in the rush of things. Blessings!

    Mary

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