Sunday, January 17, 2010

Discombobulated

(Yeah, I had to look up the spelling on that one.)

I believe I was destined for great things. Frankly, I believe we were all born to do great things. I know that's one of the reasons we're all here on earth.

But I am a FRAIDY CAT!! Big time.

I worry constantly if I'm doing the right thing. I worry about what people think. I wonder if I'm good enough or the right person for the task.

But lately I've had this gnawing feeling that it's time to do something big--B . . .I . . .G big.

But I have NO IDEA what it is.

I have a black and white personality type, and with my worryingness I LOVE having people tell me what to do.

"Jump through this hoop at this height at this time and you will be a good person." Suh-weet. Perfect. I'll let you know as soon as I jump through that hoop and thanks for letting me know that what makes me a good person. Yep that's me all right.

But it doesn't work like that.

There's Path A and Path B and so on and a LOT of them are good paths.

So how the heck do you choose? (Remember you're dealing with a worrier here.)

Things going through my mind right now:

* going back to school and getting my business degree (forget my former Statistics major)
* write a book (yep, I've ALWAYS wanted to do this)
* have another baby (or two)
* Try something so crazy and so new even I don't know what it is

I tell you it's bugging me knowing that I'm supposed to be doing something and I can't figure out the "RIGHT" thing.

So meanwhile, I feel like I'm all over the place doing a little of this, jumping over to do a little of that. And I just feel unsettled, worried, and sometimes a little depressed and it's driving me CRAZY!!

(Sorry. Lots of shouting in this post--but as a hopeful future writer I feel best when I write it out. Thanks for listening.)

Help me take my mind off things. What are you destined to do with your life?

6 comments:

  1. Ooh, so many choices! Good luck deciding, and I'm sure that whatever you do, you will do amazingly.

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  2. i feel the exact same way! when you figure it all out, be sure to let me in on the secret, LOL.

    ps.....a book of nothing but YOUR work would be FABULOUS! just sayin'.

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  3. Maybe the lord is just preparing you for a change. Not necessarily needing you to make the choice. He is probably waiting for you to be ready! Helpful, I know, but we haven't seen the sun in five weeks here so I'm a little on the testy side.

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  4. Anonymous6:08 AM

    I wish I knew. You put my thoughts into words. I feel like this all the time. I feel like I should be doing something important. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who thinks this way. LOL! Lisa L.

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  5. Love this post! I'm about to graduate law school, but have so many other goals and passions besides law.....life gets complicated:)

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  6. Discombobulated is one of my favorite words..really, it is. That is how I feel inside sometimes...like I have 20 different things going on all at the same time and I can't focus 100% on any of them and my word to describe to my husband how I feel is just kind of Discombobulated!
    I am also ready to do something BIG, when you figure it out can I do it with you? :) See, you make the decision and I'll just follow along!

    ReplyDelete

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