Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Dreams, Faith, and Hope . . .

I dreamed about Joey last night. He woke up and was well again. Lovely dream and so happy that I can still dream about him. Doesn't matter that it wasn't true. I just wanted to remember him that way. Made me so happy. :)

Dreams coming true. That's a topic I think about all the time.

On the long drive to California, my husband asked me what I wanted in my life. There are some things that I always list: finishing my degree, going on a mission for our church, traveling. Those have always been my long-term goals.

Then there are the practical goals: finishing the landscaping, getting out of debt, food storage and 72-hour kit completion. Those are the boring but necessary goals.

Then there are the dreams that came true along the way for me:
* Learning to appreciate motherhood
* Falling in love with my husband over and over again
* Living in another state and meeting wonderful people

And the career dreams:
* Working with wonderful companies
* Getting published
* Meeting other designers
* Traveling

I also have a very "fantasy" based dream:

Would you believe that I've always wanted to fly? I don't mean getting on a plane. My friends and family will tell you that I'm not a fan. I mean Superman flying. I dream about that all the time at night.

I wonder why we have dreams. Do you think it's because we are naturally born to have hope, to wonder, to dream? I think so. I think it gets harder as we grow older and face tough realities. But even in the face of Joey's illness, we still had hope. I believe that hope and faith are entertwined so that when I say "I believe . . ." I have hope that it will happen and that with hard work, I can make it happen.

When Joey wasn't cured and wasn't able to stay with us here on earth, it was so hard to have hope; and I struggled to understand what I should have had faith in: "faith that he would be cured," "faith in a miracle," I wasn't sure. Now I realize that having faith was exactly what Heavenly Father wanted me to have.

As we said good-bye and as we mourn his passing, my hope has changed; but not my faith. Instead of hoping that Joey will be well, I know that Joey is well now. Instead of hoping that Joey could have remained with us, I know that Joey is with a parent far more loving than I. I still believe and have faith that Joey could have been cured and could have stayed with us, but I believe that was not the Lord's plan for Joey.

Dreams, beliefs, and faith are completely entertwined. I am so grateful for hope!

17 comments:

  1. Oh Jen... so many beautiful words... May you have a wonderful day and may all your dreams come true!

    Happy 4th... thanks for always reminding me of the things we have to be grateful for on this day of independence...

    Kim

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  2. Jen, this is a very touching entry. Kim is right. Beautiful words...It can't be stated any better than that. Thank you for sharing on this blog. You really put things into perspective and remind us what is really important. Hope your family had a happy 4h!

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  3. I wouldn't know what to do whitout hope and faith. It keeps me going through lifes difficulties as well.

    I do not know if you believe this or not but when you dream about a loved one that has died, you actually are with him at that moment. Our own spirit can reach them when we dream and they can reach us more easily. Most of the times we remeber the dream like it was so real and you can remember everything about it. So to me it was your son showing you that he truly is OK.

    corinnexxx

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  4. Your words were so inpiring. And I hope you are able to reach all your goals and fulfill your dreams :).

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  5. Jen, this entry is so touching. I have been so grateful to have your blog to come to and be reminded of the important things in life. I love dreams, revel in my faith and feel blessed to have hope.

    Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

    ~~Nik

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  6. Wonderful entry, jen. Everything you wrote sounds "right" to me. Joey is with God now. My DH's brother died at the age of 6 from cancer, and it was very hard on him, and the family. but he took comfort in the solace that when people die seemingly "early", the thought is that it's because they were extraordinary people who "finished" their mission on Earth and went back to their Father in heaven. (leaving the rest of here on earth to figure out what the heck we're doing :)

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  7. Meant to also say, found this on a site about dream interpretation:

    "To dream of flying is usually a pleasant experience and is accompanied by a sense of exhilaration and freedom. It usually feels completely natural as if we have somehow always known how to do this. Rarely is the dream accompanied by a fear of heights or of falling. Flying may symbolise liberation from something that's been troubling you. The obstructions and shackles that have held you down have been released and you can now experience the same sense of freedom that we see in the birds that soar in the sky. The sky may symbolise consciousness and spirituality so to dream of flying can represent the expansion of your awareness and the unfolding of your higher self."

    Thought you might like to read that.

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  8. There is a song called "We Believe" sung by Kenneth Cope. You can find it on the 2002 EFY cd. I hope you have the opportunity to hear it.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your thoughts with those of us you don't know. You touch our souls and make us think.

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  9. Thanks for sharing your thoughts today. Joey is happy now and is embraced in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father. He will be waiting for you...his mission on Earth was completed and while we still don't know why things happen, he knows why now and can bring you comfort like he did in your dreams.

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  10. What a beautiful post... I love reading your thoughts. You are a beautiful woman.

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  11. I found your site through someone else's (can't remember whose now but probably Nitty Gritty)...and your entry today was awesome!! Your words and faith reach through the Internet and give hope...thank you for your testimony and words. Joey was a beautiful boy!!
    Laurie

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  12. Jen,

    I have admired your work for a while now and was deeply saddened to hear of Joey's passing. I can't even begin to know what you are feeling. Just know that you are in alot of people's thoughts.

    zanne
    http://zannedu.wordpress.com

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  13. You words are an inspiration to us all. I read them tearfully but joyfully!

    I would love to fly too! Wouldn't that be a blast... I hope all your hopes and dreams can come true.

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  14. This is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Jen.

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  15. I am always amazed by your writings. You articulate yourself so well. Your hope and faith shine thru in every word. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts about Joey. I think of you often and keep you and your family in my prayers. Renae C

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  16. Your blog reminds me to have faith and to be so grateful for all I do have.
    You and your family are in my prays.

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