Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Just about Joey

I just had to post today. I miss my little boy so much. He was such a joy in our lives. He was always so obedient and so kind. He was just one of those people that you know is destined for great things. He truly touched so many lives.

I just want to say how much I love him. I only wish he were here so that I could tell him in person a million more times.

Do me a favor, ok? Don't let an opportunity to hug and kiss your children go by! Don't let an opportunity to tell them that you love them and that you're proud of you slip by either! Those moments are priceless and my understanding of that is even more strong now.

We are so blessed to have people that we love in our lives. There really isn't enough time to truly share our deepest feelings with others. I could have had forever and still not expressed what my heart truly felt. Perhaps that's because we're mortal. I don't know, but I only wish I had the means to have expressed myself in a way that would have left him without any doubts of how much I loved him. I am working on that with my other beautiful children. It's so important that they KNOW!!!

Give your kids a hug for me and for Joey! Love to you all!

37 comments:

  1. Jen, it was so good to see you in Roberts a couple of weeks ago. You were so gracious and composed. My daughter told me last night that she had Joey in a class at AFJH, and that Mr. Dickerson had talked about him yesterday. You have been in our prayers as a family, and I think of you often. Keep looking up....only time makes it easier in death. Thinking of you! Calli Saltmarsh
    csaltmarsh@gmail.com

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  2. Jen,
    You and your family have been and are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now, but just know that Joey is looking down on you and watching over you. Use your memories to help get you through. Know that so many people are here to support you.
    Sarah Lambert
    kevin23l@yahoo.com

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  3. Jen, you don't know me but your story has touched me. I'm so sorry for your loss of such a beautiful little boy. I have followed your story for a while now and I cry right along with you. He was a beautiful child. I know he was as precious to you as my boys are to me. I know everyone tells you it will get better with time and you feel that it won't. I wish you speedy peace and happiness.

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  4. He knew. He definitely knew.

    You and your family are in my prayers.

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  5. I am struggling not to cry. My 12-year-old daughter is standing behind me, doing the dishes. An everyday task. I don't think I've ever before realized how precious these everyday moments with my children truly are. Jen, you are right--they are precious, and I think, because of Joey, I will never take them for granted again.

    Love coming your way!

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  6. Jen...You probably don't realize how many hearts you and Joey touched...you both have.
    I'm positive that Joey knew he was loved. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  7. Joey knows how much you love him...he knows

    Hugs~
    Christyne

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  8. my heart is broken for you. many prayers. You said Joey was destined for such big things, well I think he did just that, bringing together all of us as parents to never take our children, family or friends for granted! His story touched many of us deeply and I'm sure alot more hugs and appreciation were shown just because we all had the joy of knowing Joey through you and this great big cyber world.

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  9. Jen:

    I wanted to say, I'm sorry. I'm deeply moved by your story when I first got wind of it and during the whole ordeal. I'm deeply, deeply saddened, I just can't stop crying. I can't stop praying and thinking of you and your family and of Joey. He knows that he was and is loved, not only by his family but but there very people who were touched and moved beyond belief by his strength, courage and beautiful smile. He is such a blessing.

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  10. Your precious Joey truly achieved greatness in thirteen short years.
    He knew that he was loved-have confidnece in that absolute truth.
    May God bless your family during this time of heartbreak.

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  11. Jen, I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing worse than losing a child..and yours seemed to be an exceptionally wonderful young man! Thank you for allowing your fellow scrappers and various other blog readers to share your love, your struggle, your pain, your loss, and your wisdom through this ordeal. I know that it makes me appreciate my life and my family so much more...thank you, thank you!!!

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  12. Words cannot express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father that I had the opportunity to know of Joey thru your blog. He touched many lives.

    He knows how much you love and miss him. He will be waiting for you.

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  13. Logging off the computer to go hug my kids...

    Thanks for the reminder. Thank you for sharing your Joey with all of us. He touched us all!

    Jen- I don't doubt for a minute that he knows you love him, and miss him. Chin up.

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  14. You are right when you said that he touched many hearts, because that is just what he did and by doing that he might have changed something for someone, you will never know. Only time will help you get through this and even than you always have him in your thoughts which is ok, he is yours and will be till you meet again. I think he knew how much he was loved and I know he does know now he is in heaven. He is not gone, he is invisible for you to see but he is still closeby. I wish you all the strenght to get through this.

    corinnexxx

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  15. You don't know me, but I found this blog just days before you lost your beloved boy! I cried tears for you as I read about your pain, and then your loss! It really affected me. All those stressful moments with my children seemed so small and I clung to them all weekend. I am absolutely changed by reading your experience. I will not miss those important moments. I know your Joey knew how much he was loved, that is what touched me so deeply when I read your blog. Your love and devotion was compelling! I will pray that you will be given peace and comfort and you deal with your grief! You and your family are an inspiration to me. I am in Utah and have been watching the paper for his info. ((HUGS))

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  16. your family is heavy on my thoughts.
    i am so sorry for your loss.
    i just wanted to share this with you...for Joey!
    http://flyingmichelle.blogspot.com/2007/05/relay.html
    you are in my prayers!

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  17. Thank you for sharing your story. The message of "appreciate every moment" definitely went straight to my heart and won't be wasted on me.
    I wanted to say something that might comfort you. I think the fact that Joey was called home when he was young is proof of how exceptional and amazing he is. I have always believed that truly exceptional spirits are not required to stay for long on this earth to prove themselves. I am thinking that your exceptional young man was needed ... I believe that he is doing a great work right now as we speak ... his life is going on just as yours is, but just in a little different format. I absolutely believe he is happy and fulfilled and that he is surrounded by love where he is now.
    It stood out to me throughout your posts of how deeply you love your children, but especially it stood out that you went to extraordinary means to be there for Joey. How could Joey NOT have noticed? I'm certain that he knew(knows) of your deep and abiding love for him.
    I wish I were eloquent or wise so that I could give you some words that would bring peace to your heart. You gave me such a gift by sharing your story.
    Just know that a couple with four kids in California had their lives blessed by your story, and I wish I could do something to return the favor. Please let me know if I can.
    Hugs and love to you,
    Wendy

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  18. Dear Jen and familly,
    I am crying as I write to you. You are all so strong together. I think about you every day and even more when I go training for my charity race for cancer research. I know Joey knew how much you loved him, children feel more with their hearts.
    I dedicate my run to you all.

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  19. I am a Mom from Georgia who fell upon your story from a link from Kayla Aimees blog. Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you constantly. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night with you and your family on my mind, and I pray. Your story has reminded my husband and I to praise God for every day we have with our 3 young children. Joey had no doubt that you love him with all of your heart. May God Bless you and restore you with His peace and joy.
    Brittany Mann

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  20. This is my son, Robert speaking:
    I am fourteen and I think it is really great how your son fought through cancer. Just hearing his story makes me want to do better in life.
    And don't worry I know your son loves you because I know that my mom loves me, and I know that my other friends that aren't even teenagers yet, that were 12 like your son, know that their Moms love them.
    Love,
    Robert (in Southern California)

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  21. Dear Jen and family,
    You don't know me at all but my heart aches with you and your family. I have no words to express how I feel except I am SO sorry. Don't ever question you & your families ability that you showed Joey how much you loved him. Joey & you taught many of us to refocus. Appreciate the little things. Love every moment with our children.

    May you feel the love from all of us especially those you don't even know. Thank you for sharing this tender part of your lives with your scrapbook community and know we all cry along with you. May our Heavenly Father hold your hearts together and hold you in His love.
    Amy A.- Washington

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  22. Jen, you have been in my thoughts constantly since I read about Joey. I am so very sorry for your loss. My daughter turned 12 on May 1 and this has touched me so much as a mom, I can't even start to tell you. I could never imagine her leaving me know. I don't know how you are doing it, you are so strong and brave. I just wanted you to know that because of your story, I am trying to be a better mom. I want her to know ALL of the time just how much I love her. I don't want to fight over the silly little things anymore - it is just such a waste of time and we really have so little of that. She is a preteen and everything that goes along with that but I am trying and so thank you and to Joey for this wake up call. I will try enjoy every minute with my children, so thank you for sharing your story with us and for the reminder of just how little time we have together here. God Bless.

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  23. I am so sorry for your loss, that I can't even express it. I think if I didn't have the gospel during times like these, it would seem so hopeless. Joey is so amazing, and I know he will be doing some amazing work in the spirit world. We love you and are praying for you all.

    Lisa

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  24. Jen,

    rest assured that Joey had no doubts about how very much he was loved. I wish peace and courage.

    Monica

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  25. Yes.. He knew...
    I just went to hug my baby girl right after reading you...
    I don't really know you, just that we both are with KFD DT...

    But i am deeply sorry for the lost of your little boy. I am with you in thought & prayers.

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  26. Jen, I am so sorry for your loss. I have been reading your blog and following your story for a while now, and Joey is an amazing kid!! Every time I would see how things were going, I would give my guys an extra hug and kiss, and when I heard the news I woke them up to say an extra I love you! I truly believe that Joey knows how much you love him and that it will never change. You are such a strong person and because of your strength to journal your story on your blog, I will never take my kids for granted again. Through all of your sadness, you may never know how many people you have touched and helped, but you have. You and your family are now part of our daily thoughts and prayers!!

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  27. I have been really touched by you.

    My 6 year old little girl has ulcerative colitis and was diagnosed at 18 months.

    When I read about Joey I felt a connection.

    I'm inspired by your grace and courage.

    Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    Jodi

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  28. Jen, I hope you don't mind if I post a "heads up" here.
    A note for anyone whose kids were diagnosed with colon problems:
    Our Gastroenterologist diagnosed my Hannah with "malabsorption of the colon" at 2 because she ALWAYS had diahrea and got the "flu" so often. She was such a sickly child. Finally a wonderful pediatrician diagnosed her correctly at 13. Hannah has celiac: She is SEVERELY allergic to gluten (wheat, rye, and barley). The allergy messes up your intestines. Can lead to cancer. Basically keeps you from absorbing the nutrients in food. Go to celiac.com to find out more about gluten allergies. They are serious and can be life threatening. Simple blood test shows if you have it, thought most hospitals won't give it to you because it is expensive. Anyone who wants to know more can write to me at WendyOhW@yahoo.com
    Jen, thanks for letting me share a subject I am passionate about. Maybe a few moms will see this note and be able to help their sick children through seeing it.

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  29. Dear Jen,
    I too lost a daughter in 1996. This poem really touched my heart in every way. It was written by Jen Ferrell. It was origanally for a brother but it can be for anyone. My prayers are with you and your family. Mandy
    In My Mind
    by Jenn Farrell
    Somewhere in my dreams tonight
    I'll see you standing there
    You look at me with a smile
    "Life isn't always fair"

    You say you were chosen for his garden
    His preciously hand picked bouquet
    "God really needed me,
    That's why I couldn't stay"

    It's said to be that angels
    Are sent from above
    I've always had my angel
    My son - whose heart was filled with love

    Wherever the ocean meets the sky
    There will be memories of you and I
    When I look up at that sky so blue
    All I see are visions of you

    "While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."

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  30. très très gros bisous from my french family & me.

    hugs hugs hugs.

    Prolix
    {ThE fReNcH tOuCh}
    http://prolix.typepad.fr

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  31. Jen,

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs

    Stacy

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  32. Dear Lord,

    I don't know Jen, but You do!!! Please comfort her and her family just now. For the difficult days ahead, may your Holy Spirit hold them tight and their hearts be filled with peace. Amen

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  33. God bless you and your family. Know that Joey is with him and there is no more pain. There is so much that will be said that sounds cliched like what i've said. Know that as cliched as it is, it is said with love and support for all of you. I don't even know your family but am touched by joey's story. I hope you are coping alright. Warm hugs to every one of you.

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  34. Dear Jen,
    I am so very sorry for your loss. When my son was 7 months old he contracted bacterial meningitis, and almost died. That horrible disease has left him with disabilities, but nothing keeps him from smiling and lighting up the world. I understand what you mean about not losing a moment to love your children, because that experience changed me. I can't leave the house without one more hug, can't go to sleep at night without one more kiss, and no matter how tired I am or how much my back aches, any time one of my kids asks for a hug they get it immediately -- or, should I say, I get it! Experiences like this change your life, change everything about your view of the world. You and your family are in my prayers, may God bless you and bring you peace. You know that Joey is smiling down on you and sending his love.
    Karen

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  35. Jen,

    I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for your loss. I read Lisa Bearnson's blog and she asked for prayers for you and your family. I know what you are feeling, as I, too, lost my little boy on May 26, 2006. He was 8 years old. With the anniversary of that date coming up, I cannot say that it has gotten any easier. The thing that keeps me going, and is somewhat of a comfort, is knowing that he is cured of the terrible tumor that grew in his brain, and that we will see him again one day; knowing that he can be a normal little boy again, running and jumping and playing. Things that he had not been able to do for some time. I don't think it ever gets "easier". How could it. Just knowing that he is at peace brings me comfort though. Your Joey is now at peace as well. Who knows? Maybe your little Joey and my little Nathan are running together right now. Your family now has its own personal "guardian angel."
    All my prayers and love go out to you and your family.

    Melissa

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  36. I am so very sorry for your loss. I have been following your blog, you are a very strong woman and have taught me to truly appreciate every moment with my daughter.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

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